Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
