Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
