shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
