hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
id be glad to
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
