I can tuck mytits in my pants
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?