I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize