So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...