I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.