Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
you never un-have a 4some
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.