Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
