I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
