I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize