Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
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We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
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Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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