I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
