So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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