ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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