I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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