She's JV to your varsity
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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