i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
