I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
