I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
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