There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize