is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
