i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
