if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
