Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
