i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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