You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
