that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
