you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
