Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he thought i was a dude.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize