i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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