i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
BRING THE BAGELS
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
