We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
