New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize