All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
