Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
2020 sucks, I want a refund
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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