Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
