This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
