it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
