i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
