There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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