My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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