so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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