he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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