I showed him my bush... on skype.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
