heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
