the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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