her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
