I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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