he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
All I want is dick and wine.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
