It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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