Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
