Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
50% drunk capacity currently
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
