I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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