whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
