I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
