naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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