just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
