i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
